dr. doooom's answering machine

My car got stolen yesterday. You always hear how weird a feeling it is walking around on a city block, knowing your car is there, and, well, it ain’t. It’s true. It is weird. Strange, even. Peculiar, not so much, but we're cross checking the logarithms just in case.

I woke up late today. About 10 minutes before I was supposed to be at work. I still made it into work, late by only about 15 minutes. If you conflagrate (wrong word, granted, but why does it seem right?) the time stamp equilibrium in this conflagration (ok, wait) you’ll notice that 3 minutes of dressing 1 minute of confused peeing and 1 minute out the door and 15 minutes in the car (more like 20, traffic was nuts, er, more than usual) doesn’t leave a large window for showering, actually it leaves none. Sigh. I did a deodorant shower. Plus no coffee. In fact, that is more important than writing this. Coffee machine, I am on my way.

Eh, in a minute. So back to yesterday morning. No, actually, yeah, I do need coffee. Ok, wait, what happened. I kinda lost the matrix their for a minute. Get that whatsistat down my throat and redo my goop bath cuz I slipped a widget. Ah, there we go, much better. Coffee. Yes, definitely coffee. Myspace is evil.

Ah (you should never follow an eh paragraph with an ah paragraph, or maybe you always should?) coffee is finally touching my lips. From there it swirls in my mouth and makes the long journey to my gullet. So, yes, yesterday morning, it was definitely a morning, I’m sure it wasn’t the afternoon, sure of it! Oh and never use exclamation points, except if you’re very certain of something. Nod if you understand. I was very sleepy yesterday morning because Mrs. P & I had been up until 3 AM of that very same morning painting the front room. It is a beautiful mocha color with white trim. You would be so proud standing on my porch and coming into my house and seeing the resplendent sheen. Of that I am semi-assured, vis a vis the common sense bureau and the innernet’s web of rumours.

So I was very sleepy & couldn’t find my car. So, I had to walk back to the house and get the other car. Rest assured, the beater got stolen, not the “real” car, but it was up there among the best top 2 beaters I’ve ever had, in fact, I’d wager it wasn’t a beater, it was a real boy! And every time it got in trouble it would either whistle or yell “jiminey cricket.” (cries) So anyway, I had to file a police report, and I guess today, since I don’t seem to be getting a call from HPD that my car has been found, I should take the silly thing off of my insurance.

That’s enough for now, I’m overwrought, and paths of glory (kubrick direction, kirk Douglas in the lead, 1957, do your goddamn homework kids) beckons. Salud.

comic cover by Bob Layton (bows, not worthy), snagged from the bowels of the Comic Treadmill.

and have you seen the trailer for next year's iron man movie? Wowsers. Robert Downey Jr., welcome back, buddy, not that you ever really left. you never left my heart (cue born free; orchestra, orchestrate) Come to think, he was good in that Philip K. Dick movie, A Scanner Darkly last year, too, so, he literally had already been back, but you see, I live my life a year and a half in the past, so I just figgered it out, and you are in my negasphere now, Shirley. Yes, I just called you Shirley, and I am serious.